An interview with University of Washington Bothell student and Youth Mental Health First Aid certified martial arts coach Arwyn Willingham
Content warning: Discussions of suicide and self-harm.
As I joined the Zoom meeting, Arwyn Willingham was already sitting at a table in a stiff leather chair under warm lighting. She wore a black hoodie, and her curly hair was tied back. Behind her, the real room’s background featured wooden décor with subtle East Asian aesthetic elements. To her left was a Japanese-style screen, and behind her was a glass cabinet. She had a warm smile and spoke in a friendly and approachable tone. Her voice was loud and powerful, and her words were clear and concise. Arwyn was able to push past the technological distractions and create a space that felt personal.
Arwyn was able to use their shared lens of mental health experience to elevate the conversation to a much more relatable and practical level. When recounting her Mental Health First Aid training (MHFA) and describing her work coaching more than 200 youth in martial arts, as well as how she uses stained glass as a form of self-care. Arwyn explained how she connects MHFA methods to real-world situations and applies the training effectively.
Can you identify a community you’re a part of aside from being a UW student?
AW: I work as a coach to a large community of over 200 kids. I more heavily run our three to four and a half year old program, but work with kids from ages 3 to all the way until they’re into adulthood […] we have students that joined as an adult, and then I get to work with them too! I think our oldest student is in her 70s.
What kind of coaching do you do?
AW: We do martial arts with the younger kids, For those 3, 4, 5-year-olds, it’s really, like how do you move your body in a way that does things? We’re working on body awareness, body mobility, basic strength, learning how to roll a ball, and aim, and run in a straight line, stuff like that. With the older kids, it turns into the more traditional martial arts, such as punching, blocking, kicking, learning how to use a martial arts weapon, and hand-eye coordination.
How do you assess a crisis? What is a crisis?
AW: A crisis is a time of intense difficulty, trouble, danger, or distress. It can be mental, emotional, or physical. There’s a range of things that are considered a crisis, or that can become a crisis. Stuff that may become a crisis are like panic attacks, aggressive behaviors, substance misuse, and after a traumatic event that the person has witnessed, been in, or something similar. Immediate crises are things like medical emergencies, suicidal thoughts and behaviors, severe effects of alcohol or drug use, a severe psychotic state, or non-suicidal self-injury. You can assess for crisis by simply asking someone the right questions, or by observing behaviors and interacting with them, or if they have a medical emergency right in front of you. Asking if they are in crisis is not going to give them those ideas, so in order to get the best understanding possible, you should ask the right questions directly.
What does ALGEE stand for?
AW: Before you get to the acronym you always want to be assessing the person that you’re talking to, the people that you’re around, for risk of crisis. You want to make sure that you know if something needs to happen, like you are paying attention to any warning signs that you’re getting, just anything that’s going on, you want to be paying attention to any conversation that you’re having.
The A in ALGEE stands for approach. Approaching the person, reaching out to them, and trying to have a conversation and realize that something’s going on. L is for listening nonjudgmentally, making sure they feel comfortable telling you what’s going on.G stands for give reassurance and any related information, which I think those two go really hand in hand. The first E encourages professional help, and the last E encourages self-help.
Accessibility caption: The graphic shows a multicolored circle containing the elements of ALGEE. The circle is divided into 5 sections with a 6th smaller section in the shape of another circle with a green outline containing the word assess. Directly above is a smaller circle with a thick green outline, containing the letter A. In the section slightly to the right, there are the words “APPROACH, assess for risk of suicide or harm, and assist”. Continuing clockwise there is a small yellow circle with the letter L inside, with the section below it containing the words “LISTEN nonjudgementally”. The next section is pink and directly below the middle, the circle contains the letter G and the words “GIVE reassurance and information”. Continuing up the circle on the lower left hand side is a light blue section, with the letter E and the words “ENCOURAGE appropriate professional help”, and the final circle and section is dark blue, with the letter E and the words “ENCOURAGE self-help and other support strategies.”
Suppose you have a student who is exhibiting sadness, and maybe they’ve gone through a major life event. You haven’t really noticed any differences in their footwork. You haven’t really noticed any differences in their ability to do hand-eye coordination. How would you go through those steps?
AW: When assessing a student’s wellbeing, the first thing I always do is I look at how well they are doing with their friends. If all of a sudden they’re not talking to their friends or we don’t have to remind them to stop talking, that’s a clue that something may be going on. If it happens more over time then I can pull them aside. But I wouldn’t call them out in front of a group of their friends, that would be too embarrassing. I’d be like, “Hey, why don’t you come help me with something in the other room?” And then while we’re over there, I’d ask, “Hey, I noticed you’re not really acting the way you normally do. It seems like you’re pretty down. Is there anything that you wanna talk about?”
In terms of listening nonjudgmentally, again the main thing is allowing the kid to talk as much as they want to. Trying not to interrupt, and really letting them get their full thoughts out before I say anything. I think of it like, when I’m listening to them I’m holding only feelings of concern, care, and empathy in me. You don’t want to be listening and thinking to yourself that you’re bored, or that this isn’t a “real” concern. That would be the opposite of what we’re looking for. Regardless, throughout the conversation I’d maintain that they aren’t alone in what they’re feeling. That they can make it through, and that they aren’t a burden for sharing things with the people that care about them. Giving reassurance that they are cared for, that they are strong, and so forth.
How I’d apply the double E of ALGEE really depends on what the student says. If they’re really just sad those couple days, maybe they haven’t been sleeping well, or they’re going through a stressful time at school, something far outside what’s considered a crisis, then the most I would do is encourage them to have that self-help of coming to class and being with their friends. If the situation is relatively short term, the process of finding appropriate professional help may take longer than the situation would last for. If, however, this is something that has been carrying on, or if its a more serious situation, like a long term break up, a bad divorce in the family, or just some maybe minor things that have been adding up and happening for a long period of time, that’s when I’d encourage they find some professional help that can assist them through it.
Same with if they may become a crisis risk, getting that professional help to stop the escalation is necessary. If while talking to them I find that they are indeed in active crisis, then I would try to dig a little deeper and find out how long this has been going on, what exactly they’re feeling, and if their considering suicide, at which point if they are I’d call 988, or 911 if needed.
Accessibility caption: photograph of a stained glass suncatcher made by Arwyn, in the shape of a mobula, or manta ray. It’s made of a combination of mint green and transparent glass hanging in the air from a chain. The backyard in the background, showing green trees and a section of a deck, making it appear as if it’s flying.Arwyn made these art pieces as a means of self care. Photo credit: Arwyn Willingham
If you were trying to offer some encouragement, what method do you think would be effective?
AW: In terms of professional help, if this continues or if they want to talk to someone who can offer more concrete advice [or diagnosis], I would suggest finding a therapist who works for them. In some situations it might seem like calling 988 would be helpful. A therapist may be much better suited to what may be going on and can direct them further. Now, again, if they are a suicide risk, like if they’ve said they want to kill themselves or that they have a plan do to so, then calling 988 or other emergency services would definitely be appropriate.
For self help, I would encourage them to really reach back out to their friends. I’m not gonna say that they should only talk to their friends about their problems, but definitely having that support from your friends and having that positive relationship with your friends can definitely help. In terms of self-help they can do by themselves, I think it’s important for them to reconnect with activities they enjoy. They shouldn’t let isolation keep them there. Exercising, listening to music, or even just being in class can be helpful. Simply being there [in martial arts class] and staying active is a form of self-help, so I’d encourage them to keep coming back and stay involved. At my school we strive to be as much of a distraction as possible. We want everyone there to be able to walk in those doors and whatever has been happening outside can fall away and they can just be a martial artist.
Suicide is sadly one of the leading causes of death for young people between the ages of 16 and 25. Do you ever feel as though there are some gaps in knowledge of people like you?
AW: In a coaching situation where they [coaches] want to help, where we want to prevent this, wedon’t always know how. […S]ometimes because we don’t want to out anybody, but a lot of the times if [a student] is having some kind of crisis, and one coach [was handling it], we don’t always fill in the other coaches totally and completely. We might give each other the [some] information. But we’re not giving each other a play by play, aside from if our bosses need to get involved. That means that if there was something that went on while that person was having that conversation, that maybe I think could’ve been done better, I don’t know that that’s happened. Which does kind of make it more difficult for me to see […] an [information] gap that might be there.
In terms of my personal experience and the personal experiences that I’ve had where myself and another coach were both there, I think generally, knowing what you can do immediately and how you can immediately help. Like pulling the person away for example, we typically get people water when something happens because you can’t cry and drink water at the same time. It helps calm people down. But aside from that, many [coaches] just don’t know what to do. Many people freak out (referring to the idea of having mental health conversations) […] it’s a sign of a gap to be filled. That’s why I like ALGEE, because it gives you a stepping stone, this is something that you can start, this is what you can do.
Accessibility caption: photograph of the corner of a window, where a unique sunlight catcher, resembling a spider web, is sitting against the molding with black thick lines for the web and clear glass like material for the suncatcher. Some sections of the spider web are made of textured glass, while others are completely flat. Arwyn made these art pieces as a way of self care.
Photo credit: Arwyn Willingham.
I would love to know how this course, if so, what changed you? Were there any things that you learned in the course especially when we’re dealing with crisis scenarios?
AW: I think I still struggle with this at times. A lot of my experience growing with mental health and the mental health of others was through screen (…). Asking these (mental health related) questions in person feels much scarier. [Prior to taking Mental Health First Aid), one of my habits was jumping to conclusions when something seemed off.
Now, I’ve learned to pause and think about what’s really going on instead of immediately assuming. Having ALGEE as a framework gives me clear steps I can take before panicking. It’s been very helpful, and it’s something I continue to work on in my role as a coach. Because not everything is that serious.
ALGEE gives me a tool to assess situations more accurately without causing more panic from my actions. We talked about recognizing the signs and symptoms of a crisis versus a non-crisis. For example, a crisis might involve someone actively talking about dying by suicide, while a non-crisis could be someone saying they’re feeling sad or overwhelmed. But if they’re asking the questions directly, and then recognizing common signs and symptoms when somebody’s in crisis, then we have an idea of what to do next.
Do you think that Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) training would be helpful for coaches of young people?
AW: I think MHFA training helps a lot. If you’re going to work with young people, you need to be aware of a lot of the things that affect their mental health. We see them grow and change so much, even within a short period of time. I have students who started with us at three years old and are now still with us as teenagers. Because of how much and how big a part of their lives we are, you need to be prepared for something that might happen.
After working with this MHFA program, how has it changed your views on your own mental health?
AW: My views on my own mental health have been quite a journey. I’d say the program[mental health first aid] reinforced the views on my own mental health rather than change them. I went through a lot of personal searching though my own mental health struggles and how I viewed them, so I went from being like, “Suicide is selfish, and you’re just cutting yourself out of everybody’s lives.” To being like, “No, suicide is a sign of severe struggle, a lack of support, and a last ditch effort to escape the things that’s going on.” Giving people more grace.
We need to try our best to be good people and support those around us, be a good friend, be a good mentor, and be a good parent. If you can help, you should be helping. Never to the extent of where your own mental health is suffering, but if there’s something that you can do, whether that’s directing them to someone better than you or not, then you should be doing that. Because I don’t think that anyone should try and support others at the detriment of themselves. But when I look back, there were definitely things that I could have done that would have been better for all people involved. So this program just really reinforced that idea.
Accessibility caption: This rectangular stained glass piece, made by Arwyn, is composed of irregular geometric blocks of color, varying between yellow, white, red, orange and transparent blocks. When the sunlight filters through the pattern it creates a colorful shadow. Arwyn made these art pieces as a way of self care.
Photo credit: Arwyn Willingham.
As your views on mental health have changed, has your self care? What do you do for self-care?
AW: My self care largely hasn’t changed. I am a big music enjoyer, I think I listened to like 50,000 minutes last year, according to Spotify Wrapped. Which is less than normal! Normally it’s like 200,000 minutes so, I’ve been slacking. Music is a real escape for me. I basically always have it playing. I like getting outdoors. Hiking, biking, walking, all that stuff. Martial arts is also big for me. I love training, and even just seeing the kids. Going to work is a big place of self care because I truly love what I do. 9 times out of 10 going to work helps me feel better than just staying at home. Those 3 and 4 years olds can really pull me out of a ditch!
Recently, I’ve been creating stained glass pieces. I learned how to in high school, and got back into it this past year. Working with my hands and just allowing the work to take me is both really fun and really relaxing. Of course it can be frustrating, trying to get the pieces to fit together and look the way I want it too, but having that final product and getting to see the sun shine on it, or through it if it’s transparent, is rewarding. I get to have my creations all around me in my home and see my creativity and how I’ve grown through it. I can’t wait to get better at it.
What was your biggest takeaway or maybe a main takeaway that you could share?
AW: One of the things that definitely stuck with me was kind of random, non-suicidal self-harm is technically considered like you’re in crisis. Which was unexpected. Because I have several experiences with that and I would not have considered that to be a crisis, and to learn that that was technically a crisis was like, “OK, some things should have been done differently in that case.” To the point where I forgot anything else on the crisis list. That was the biggest takeaway and the thing that really just stuck with me. where I was like, “Whoa, interesting.”
It was mentioned in the course but I know personally that the action comes from being in pain. Self harm is a way of coping, I know in my case it was a way to recenter and calm down. It was like helping me regulate, not that it was actually doing a good job or anything for the long term. The focused point of pain gave me something to focus on and reinforced the fact of “I’m alive, I can feel things other than numbness”. And I still deal with the effects of using that method of coping. I wouldn’t have considered myself in crisis at those times, hence why it was kind of shocking to learn that I technically was. Same with my experiences with others partaking. It’s also why I believe in what MHFA is teaching because they’re right about not saying “Don’t ever do that again,” because then people just hide it and then you can’t notice it in the future.
As a whole, Arwyn’s interview highlights the layers that are present when the education of mental health meets real world practice. Her mental health background and experience gave her a unique approach to the MHFA course that provided an intriguing position to listen to. Combining the course with Arwyn’s crisis recognition, compassionate listening, and understanding nuances of supporting young people, especially in situations where sadness, dissociation, or non‑suicidal self‑harm may be present, Arwyn made it clear that she is more equipped to deal with it.
Throughout the interview, Arwyn confidently and calmly presented her understanding of and concern for mental health. Her tone remained consistently warm and approachable, and the lighting and composed demeanor she exuded drew the viewer in. She gave us clear examples that demonstrated how she internalized the training into daily life. The biggest takeaway – the understanding that non‑suicidal self‑harm can still signal crisis reflects a growing maturity shaped by both the coursework and previous hands‑on experience. The interview ultimately encompasses Arwyn’s commitment to addressing MHFA issues with empathy, warmth, and cultural awareness in situations she may encounter.
Having past experiences doesn’t mean you’ve learned everything. Although Arwyn was capable of identifying dissociation in children, navigating nonjudgmental listening, and understanding the limits of advice‑giving, the MHFA course still widened her lens and enhanced her perspective. Her reflection of her growth demonstrates the importance of applying teachings to community settings of our daily lives.
We learned from Arwyn that 988 is the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, and it can connect individuals with a DCR if the person is in crisis. DCR stands for Designated Crisis Responder here in King County, and their response can take up to 48 hours, so there can be some delay. Because of that, another helpful option is providing a list of local therapists and youth mental health resources – which you can find here at the Emerald City Resource Guide. If immediate assistance is needed, or the people involved are in immediate danger, call 911 for emergency services. If you are interested in mental health, you are welcome to register for a session of Youth Mental Health First Aidand/or Adult Mental Health First Aid.
We would like to thank the University of Washington Bothell Campus Writing Center for their help on this piece, specifically Leanne Machado, and Anastasia Mironyuk. We’d also like to thank Arwyn Willingham for the interview.
THIS INTERVIEW HAS BEEN EDITED FOR CONTENT AND CLARITY